Although I'm still in my ripe early 20's, M is slowly but surely creeping closer and closer to 30 (good thing he doesn't read my blog regularly because his feelings would be hurt).
While I was visiting over the holidays a handful of his buddies got engaged which is very exciting but it got to the point where M said, "I'm going to have to post a facebook status telling everyone to stop getting engaged because my girlfriend is getting pissed" hahaha. Which is funny because as every girl knows, when you've been dating for 4 years, you kind of start to get "the itch" especially when a ton of other couples begin getting engaged.
This part I can deal with because I know that good things come to those who wait and our time will come when it's supposed to and we're both ready.
However, what I am really unprepared for is M's friends who are already married and beginning to have babies. I am beyond excited for them, don't get me wrong, but it feels a little like I'm behind on the "typical human schedule".
Why do we always compare ourselves and our lives to everyone else's? Why can't we be satisfied and happy and live without feeling the pressure of what everyone else is doing? So as a branch off of my new lifestyle, I am proud to say that I feel happy and secure right where I am with M. Happy with my girlfriend title and even more grateful for all the experiences I get to share with M in this beautiful time of our lives where we're young and have the ability to be stupid and make rash decisions and pack up our lives within a few hours and move to a different state or country.
Anyone else ever feel the pressure? It's annoying isn't? It makes you think you're unsatisfied with your life when you're really not. Frustrating. But it is also just as easy to push those thoughts aside and be thankful for all that you have, because one day it will be your turn exactly when you want it.
Unfortunately I have also felt the pressure. We started dating when I was 19 so while some were getting engaged after two years of dating, I was just too young to get married at 21! That didn't stop people from asking.....and asking.....and asking when we were going to get engaged. For a while I was asked so often I actually started resenting my boyfriend because he hadn't proposed yet. It took a while, but I realized our relationship should be on our timeline, not someone else's and that I really was happy just being with him and I didn't need anything else, despite what other people thought. After 7 and a half years of dating, 5 of those living together, the time was finally right for us. I'm glad we waited and didn't bend to the pressure. Good for you for seeing all the truly great things about just being in the relationship!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Rachel! We have enough going on with our S.O's careers and our crazy lifestyle that I'm so sick of hearing about "when" this and "when" that. It's so refreshing to hear that I'm not alone so thank you for posting!
DeleteI'm 26 and single, talk about pressure! I haven't had a serious boyfriend for years and yes it is exceedingly frustrating that everyone acts like I'm a leper for being picky. I'd rather never have a boyfriend than settle for the slime I seem to attract. The long and the short of it is that everyone has their feelings about your situation but only you truly know what matters. :)
ReplyDeleteSara you are a peach. Lately when people ask, "when are you getting engaged?" I reply with "when I know, you'll know!". It's a smartass comment but I'm so sick of hearing it and it's true, when I know the plan, you'll know the plan peeps so leave me alone. You tell those judgers to leave you the hell alone! You'll find him when you're damn well ready!
DeleteI think that it is important to remember to not only live your life, but to let life happen. Women today have been hammered with a timeline. But we are changing, evolving. Why do we need what others have? And in the timeline they have it no less? I think every woman will agree that when you stop looking, things happen. But one of the problems today, in my opinion, is all of this social media. We are constantly bombarded with people who are not even our friends any longer, and mabye never really were, and their lives. 20 years ago, my mother couldn't tell you that a girl she sang with in choir was married and living in Paris. She couldn't tell you that a girl she had english with was pregnant with twins. So what did she have to feel behind/pressured about in that sense? But today there is facebook, twitter, iphones, updates. You are normal. I am normal. Normal is so relative that it fits everyone. The part that's hard is when everyone is shoving it in your faces. Yes you see it on all the media, but family asks, friends ask. Yes, it's because they care, and want to know about your life. But why does it makes us want to hide in a whole until we can pop out with a ring or a baby? (hopefully in that order) We need to continue to evolve. If our world is revolved around all this flashy media and technology that can throw everything in our faces, telling us we are not normal, then we need to find a way (like you said Jess) to just be happy for those who have what they have. And feel your blessings when they come. Happiness comes in family, in friends, in travel, in pets, in experiences. In life. The struggle is realizing what you have when you have it.
ReplyDeleteHi friend, I like this answer. More like love it. :)
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